NEW! Critical Unity CORNED BEEF is now available in a low-sodium version! Get just as much BEEF as usual without worrying!
Critical Unity highly-irritating liquid hand soap. Smells like dead grandmother! Comes in a delightful shade of intestine pink. Available at every public restroom.
Here are some highly convincing testimonials:
“It feels just like a thousand mosquito bites in between my fingers!”
“How is it possible for soap to make me feel more dirty?”
“I feel like vomiting whenever I put my hands near my face!”
Introducing Critical Unity Corn Puffs! For health! Now with extra added sugar. Part of your balanced breakfast.
Cue classical music to give the impression of sophistication. A car races down a winding coastline road heading towards a beach or a winery or just away from your job, responsibilities, and anything that has ever mildly irritated you.
The new and improved 2015 Critical Unity sport sedan.