Critical Unity Watches. Ever wanted to let someone know how much money you make without ever having to say a word? This watch is for every man who wants to lower his eyebrows while making eye contact. Great for repeatedly glancing at dramatically and sighing with increasing volume while waiting in the line up at your favourite high end coffee retailer before getting fed up shouting “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”
Critical Unity Mayonnaise. It’s not going off! That just the way that it tastes normally.
Critical Unity body spray comes in two VERY masculine and heterosexual scents: “Your Father’s Disappointment” and “Why Do Women Only Date Assholes?”